The questions most people ask
WHAT IS COACHING?
if your life was ideal, what would it look like?
How would you change to make it happen?
Through questioning, listening and other coaching skills and techniques, your coach helps you figure out what you would like your life to be like (the vision) and how to get there (goal setting).
A coach is not an advisor. My job is to challenge you to find a solution for your issues and problems by stimulating your imagination and tapping into your own creative potential.
Coaching is very effective for promoting clarity and motivation as well as shifts in awareness and perception. I focus primarily on raising self-awareness and on the importance of self-responsibility.
ARE YOU A THERAPIST?
It's very important to point out, that coaching and psychotherapy are not the same. A coach is not a therapist, a counselor or a psychologist. There are problems, that are rooted in personal traumas that ideally need to be addressed and solved before a person is ready for coaching. If this is your case I will recommend you to visit a psychologist. While trauma is present in someone's life, there are limitations to what coaching can do for you. Coaching can provide coping mechanisms that might help you live a fairly normal life with your trauma. Coaching will, however, not provide healing for trauma. It's important to make a well-informed choice.
WHAT IS YOUR SCOPE OF WORK?
My scope of work focuses exclusively on love, affection, romance, and attraction-based relationships from (before) start to (after the) end, including, but not limited to: Your Relationship with Yourself, Dating, Casual Dating and Casual Relationships, Partnerships, Monogamous and Open Relationships, Communication Skills and Conflict Management, Attachments and Co-Dependency Intimacy, Infidelity Recovery, Pre-Marriage and Marriage, New Parents, Handling Separation and Divorce, Separation and Divorce Recovery, Coping with Partner Narcissism, Addiction, Anger, Tragedy, Loss, Illness or Death.
For any coaching requirement that falls out of my scope of work, I will recommend a certified coach who has specialized in the type of coaching you need.
WHAT IS THE MATCHING PROCEDURE?
The matching procedure is an online procedure through which I gather the information I need to assess if you're coachable, if coaching is the right help method for you and if I'm the right coach for you. The matching procedure starts when you apply for your first consultation. You will receive a questionnaire with instructions. I will ask further questions if I need more information. The whole process of matching and coaching is 100% confidential, by written agreement.
If the matching procedure results in your approval for coaching, we will go ahead with the first session. During your first session you will be able to feel the vibe, experience my style and decide if I'm the coach for you and how you want to continue.
Please note, that this procedure is not the same as DSMATCH, which is a pre-dating, compatibility assessment & matchmaking service I offer on one of the next pages of this site.
CAN SOMEONE BE UNCOACHABLE?
According to my policy, people who:
are not adults (18+)
are undergoing psychiatric treatment for mental illness
are not prepared to invest time and money to better themselves or their relationship
are not flexible or open to change
can not take time to attend their sessions as required
do not have the discipline to follow the coach's instructions
simply don't want to be coached
can not be coached.
Coaching is not for everyone, that's why I've included other options. Visit LOVE & LIFE ACADEMY for more information.
DO YOU HAVE PREVIOUS PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE?
Yes, I do. At the age of 23, I was sworn in as an attorney-at-law. I've worked as a lawyer on the Caribbean island of Aruba from 1997 to 2007. In 1998 I co-authored a book on comparative civil servant laws in the Netherlands, the Netherlands Antilles, and Aruba. From 2001 to 2007 I functioned as a junior partner of the prominent Swaen & Partners Law Office. During my lawyer years, I handled many divorce cases and brainstormed with clients about relationship solutions instead of counseling them toward a divorce. In 2007 I retired from law practice to become a part-time independent legal counsel, offering services to three law offices. At the same time, I pursued other personal interests and creative business ideas. In 2016 I found my calling and a way to become what I've always considered my #1 passion.